------------------------------------------------------------------- Encountering the Intention: A Sanctuary of Heart and Conscience ------------------------------------------------------------------- One big mistake to which I must confess is reading a Michfest policy statement as if it were a Supreme Court decision. defining "the Law of the Land." That misunderstanding implies two things which can each lead to a mindset detracting from rather than supportive of radical listening and unconditional acceptance of my sisters. First, it leads to the idea that there is a "law" that decides whether or not I can legitimately come to Fest -- an evolving law, which requires me to wait for a time when policy becomes so clear that "any reasonable sister would agree that I belong at Fest under the Law of the Land -- whatever her own feelings." Secondly, it places every other womon coming to Fest in the position, so to speak, of an immigration officer or county clerk who must place her "seal of approval" on my wristband. That concept leads swiftly to policy debates (especially about what current policy means), and away from radical listening with its courageous and loving openness to a variety of views which can all exist in the same respectful space. Having described the wrong way, let's consider what I now feel as a better way, more in harmony with good Fest process and radical listening. As Lisa Vogel has said, each womon has her own personal encounter with the intention, an encounter taking place in the sanctuary of her heart and conscience, and decides if she should come to Fest. That decision is to be honored and respected by all who attend Festival. It is a profoundly private matter of conscience for each womon, and the mutual trust for our choices which we share at Fest becomes all the more powerful and overwhelmingly beautiful because of our many different views and visions about how policy might best be interpreted, and how Fest nourishes our souls. This understanding, when truly felt in the depths of our hearts, leads to the insight that womyn at Fest can love and respect each other while having very different views of the intention and related policy! There is ample room for each sister's truth. For example: * "What I value at Fest above all is WBW space, so that if I were a trans womon (insofar as I can imagine that), I would not myself come to Fest." * "My heart and conscience have told me that I can and should come to Fest as a Lesbian feminist; but were I WBW (insofar as I can imagine that), I might well feel that the presence of trans womyn makes this something other than the Fest I have known and loved." In this realm of concordant dissonance, of sisterly love illuminated rather than eclipsed by our creative divergence of concepts and feelings, is a unity far transcending any policy disagreements or debates. Let us celebrate this realm of radical listening. Staying together in the realm of radical listening is helped by two guidelines. The first is "no gender policing," a familiar Fest value; the second is "no thought policing." Let's look at each, after I make a fair disclosure that I've done gender policing at least in my heart, and thought policing early and often with my tongue (or keyboard) as well; so if you've done either or both also, that makes us sisters. Avoiding gender policing and thought policing, from another point of view, involves the positive value and lived experience of respecting each other's boundaries. ------------------------------------------- 1. Thou Shalt Not Gender Police Thy Sisters ------------------------------------------- A famous guideline of the Civil Rights Movement asks activists to avoid violence of "fist, tongue, or heart." This goes also for gender policing, or passing judgment on another womon's coming to Fest. Mutual love and respect, regardless of what vision we may have for Fest or whether we feel that we would choose to attend were we in the circumstances of the sister who stands before us, liberate us all from the harm that gender policing brings. This spirit of mutual acceptance and respect -- not necessarily agreement! -- also avoids such "collateral casualties" as Butch Lesbians or WBW with certain body profiles or proportions who may have their gender identities questioned. -------------------------------------------- 2. Thou Shalt Not Thought Police Thy Sisters -------------------------------------------- Thought policing -- which can also be of "fist, tongue, or heart" -- means passing judgment on a womon's understanding of the intention of Fest and related policy, or attempting to change her views so that she will not only accept and respect but agree with and endorse another womon's coming to Fest. Like gender policing, thought policing is more a negative than a positive: it shows a lack of sisterly trust and confidence that we can love and accept each other at Fest while also respecting our differences. Here, too, there are many direct and collateral casualties, with truthful communication and radical listening as the first. When concordant opposition is embraced rather than resisted by thought policing efforts to "resolve" it, then none of us is made "less than," and we may creatively seek mindful compromises and accommodations making Fest a safer and more respectful place for us to share in love. -------------------------------------------------------------------- 3. Respecting Thy Sister's Boundaries: The Joys of Radical Listening -------------------------------------------------------------------- Mutual trust and respect have an Amazonian power like that of Fest itself. We are free from the burden of passing judgment on another womon's decision to attend Fest, or of passing judgment on another womon's values and understandings which might have led us to make a different decision as to whether we ourselves should have come. When each womon's autonomy and values are not only respected but cherished, then lots of barriers to radical listening melt away, rather than the process of communication melting down. There's no need to agonize: "Is that last Michfest policy statement so clear that any reasonable sister would agree that I have the `right' to come to Fest?" And there's no need to agonize: "Is it really acceptable, even while lovingly respecting every womon who comes to Fest, to share my own vision of Fest as a WBW-only space, so that maybe we can at least find a less uncomfortable way of sharing the Land together?" As one womon recently put it, "If it were a perfect world, we would find ways to reach out and find ways of mutual healing." At Fest, and within the respectful space of Allies in Understanding, we fearlessly and lovingly dare to create that world now. In love and sisterhood, Margo Schulter mschulter at calweb dot com September 5, 2014